just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize