I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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