That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
