is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
