If i come over, it means nothing
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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