so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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