We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
