Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
