she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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