i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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