woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That reminds me...we need to get swords
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
