I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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