lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
