the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
