I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
