It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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