whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I love you. Go after that dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
