just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
