party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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