He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
