Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish I only lived at night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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