So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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