Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
