i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We left an ass print on the piano.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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