Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
