the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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