Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
