So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
from now on my penis is your penis
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize