i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
