don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
