my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
