The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have already put on my inside pants.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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