Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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