sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
