I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
