wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
