Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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