im six kinds of drunk right now
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
