yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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