Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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