It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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