Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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