i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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