You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
