I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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