He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
