they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
