Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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