I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
