Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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