how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
