He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
do herpes really smell.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I pour the whiskey from now on
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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