Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
