The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
smell my finger.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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