I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
