I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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