Screwed.edu
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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