Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
