Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
