I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
