Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
