i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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