....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
