I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
