I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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