you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
